Once Upon a Time
by WhiteIce
Summary: All Mindy Lahiri ever wanted out of her love life was to have a fairytale romance. Of course, getting a fairytale is harder in real life, when Morgan appoints himself your fairy godmother and magic spells don't exist to transform you into a princess. Still, her Prince Charming is out there...even if he isn't a prince and really, at times, is more of a jerk than charming.
1. Chapter 1

To everyone that reviewed my last story, thanks so much! I loved all the reviews you guys left! Also, I'm trying to write a follow up oneshot for that, but in the meantime, have this chapter fic.

I would also like to say that I am craving more fanfic for The Mindy Project, so readers, jump on the bandwagon and write!

I don't own The Mindy Project or any of the quotes used in the beginning of chapters.

* * *

_Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a tiny kingdom, peaceful, prosperous, and rich in romance and tradition. - Cinderella_

* * *

Mindy Lahiri had always wanted a fairytale romance. It didn't matter that her fairy godmother couldn't pop out of the middle of nowhere and transform a pumpkin into a carriage. (It was actually pretty hard finding pumpkins in New York during the fall season when everyone wanted one, so maybe that was actually a blessing.) She also knew that a frog wouldn't suddenly transform into a prince, and that there wasn't a crown waiting for her somewhere with her name on it. But still, she hoped that she could at least have some of the love and mystery and adventure that existed in all the movies she had watched when she was younger.

Instead she got a series of failed romances, including one that ended with her boyfriend getting married to another woman that he had known for three months (one and a half of those months he had still been dating Mindy) and her getting spectacularly drunk to embarrass herself in front of all the wedding guests. And the only thing she had to look forward to at the end of each day was coming home to an apartment that somehow got infested by cats, which was the universe's way of saying that she needed to become a crazy cat lady. And at work she had to avoid Danny's comments all day: every time she tried to talk about the perfect man or the guy she was dating or something else, he would slide up and inject himself in the conversation. Like he was actually interested in her life. He just wanted to have more ammo to use against her when they started fighting. He thought he was smart, but Mindy was smarter. She had him pegged.

It was a typical, average day when Mindy was sitting in the office, secretly trying to read "Bridget Jones' Diary" behind some medical files to take her mind off her stomachache, something she suspected she had gotten from that hot dog stand with those suspicious looking onions. (Look, she was hungry, okay? It was a quick breakfast on the run, sure, but it was either that or starve all morning).

Luckily, everything was pretty calm that morning - she had finished all her appointments, and currently the office was calm...aside from the fact that Morgan was sliding from room to room in a desk chair with wheels. (It was how he had broken her previous chair). Shauna was filing her nails; Betsy was watching Morgan anxiously, as though trying to mentally will him from crashing into walls; and Jeremy and Danny were laying bets on how soon it would be before Morgan broke this chair.

Mindy was just happy that it wasn't her chair they were using this time.

She was peeking at the ending of her book (even though she had read it five times she still liked to skip ahead to the happy ending), when someone cleared their throat. Danny was at the door of her office, staring at anything but her.

She was instantly suspicious.

"So..." Danny said, staring at the walls and then down at the carpet, his head moving so fast that Mindy was slightly concerned he'd get whiplash. "What's up with the lunch situation?"

"The what situation?" Mindy asked, puzzled.

"I mean...you know, are you getting lunch?" Danny said. "I was just wondering because I, too, was getting lunch, and I've gotten really tired of my old place and..."

"You've eaten at that place for seven years." Mindy said. "You were bragging about it yesterday." Something weird was going on here.

"Yeah, well, I...it got old."

"You said you loved it because it was old. Because you eat there for seven years. You love old things, Danny. You don't even have to say what it is, you love it because it's old. You love anything that's 'old school', Danny." What was happening?

"I...found a cockroach in my salad! At my old restaurant..." Danny said. "And I thought I'd try somewhere new and was asking around to see if anyone could give me suggestions..."

"You don't eat salad." What the hell? Was Danny trying to eat lunch with her? Wait a second...This was starting to add up now...Danny...Danny was...

...clearly trying to make her life miserable. Ten to one he had gotten all pissy that the cockroach had crawled into his salad (which apparently he now miraculously eat) and was going to take it out on Mindy by eating lunch with her and making her miserable... After all, it's what they did to each other. If she was in a bad mood, she was sure as hell taking out on Danny rather than anyone else in the office.

"Hey, I've got a place you can go to!" Morgan called, sailing past the door. "My old prison buddy works there! And they only got closed down by the health inspector two times!"

"Thanks." Danny said, looking pissed. Yep, Mindy was right. He had been ticked off for whatever reason...

"You can come to lunch with me." Jeremy said. "I know a wonderful salad place."

"I don't - I mean, that sounds great." Danny said, glaring at Mindy's carpet as though it had personally offended him.

"Great!" Jeremy turned to Mindy. "Would you like to come with?"

Mindy had to hold back a smile. Sure, she had given up all hope of ever getting Jeremy to be more than a fling, something that she was glad of now. He was way too vain and womanizing for her tastes, but he was fun to hang out with sometimes. He was a good guy, even if he did carry a mirror around 24/7 to make sure there were no flaws on his "perfect" face.

Danny had moved his murderous gaze from the carpet to the wallpaper.

"Nah. I'm not feeling very good." Mindy winced as her stomach gave another little pang. "I eat a...questionable hot dog for breakfast this morning."

"That explains your onion breath." Danny muttered.

"Shut up salad boy." Mindy fired back. She turned back to Jeremy with a smile. "I'm just going to stay here and rest."

"Feel better!" Jeremy said, raising a hand in farewell. "Come along, Danny." Danny followed, his face so dark Mindy felt bad for unloading him on Jeremy. Well, technically, Jeremy had volunteered.

Mindy sighed and went back to her book, ignoring the pains in her stomach.

Morgan sailed past her window once again. A second later, she heard a loud slam when he finally hit the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

_...a ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee. Not in death, but just in sleep, the fateful prophecy you'll keep._

_ - Sleeping Beauty_

* * *

Danny stabbed at the tomato slices, pretending they were Jeremy's smug mouth. The same mouth that was smiling at him over salads, waiting for him to say something, just like he'd been waiting the whole lunch. Danny didn't want to say anything, he just wanted to shovel down as much of the disgusting salad that he could manage and go back to the office.

"You're awfully quiet, Danny." Jeremy remarked, eating his salad with relish.

"Not feeling good." Danny muttered.

"Is it the same thing Mindy has? Maybe it's a virus."

Danny didn't dignify that with a response, just decided to glare at Jeremy until he went back to his salad.

This was not the way he had been picturing his lunch hour going. He had been hoping that Mindy (after a lot of complaining and ribbing) would have allowed him to go to wherever she eat lunch and, after nearly ripping each other's head off, they might actually have a civil conversation... And that civil conversation might allow Mindy to think that maybe having Danny with her for lunch now and then wasn't such a bad idea...

Danny realized it was a stupid plot, but he didn't have any better ones. And he had been trying.

All he wanted to do was spend some one on one time with Mindy. Being with her always made him feel better - she was smart, funny, and just so much fun to irritate. He enjoyed watching her try to come up with rebounds to his insults, to see her get so worked up over his stupid comments. They just needed to figure out how to stay in that "fun" area without irritating each other so much that she brought up his divorce and he would snap and make a comment about her weight or age or love life. That always killed the mood.

Danny sighed and poked at his salad, responding in monosyllabic answers to Jeremy's questions. He would have felt bad acting this way if it had been Morgan or Betsy or Dr. Shulman trying to take him out to lunch, but he had no sympathy for Jeremy. The man had been sleeping with Mindy for months now, and he took Mindy for granted. As if it were easy to try and find someone like her in any bar. Then again, considering the charming way Jeremy acted, it probably was. It was that same charm that made Mindy overlook all his faults, even though Jeremy was just as bad, maybe even worse, to her than Danny was. But no, everything came easy to Jeremy.

Jeremy finally seemed to understand that nothing was going to make Danny talk, and they finished up their lunch quickly and quietly.

* * *

Mindy sighed, staring down at the files on her desk. She just couldn't concentrate today. She had already finished her book, and was now trying to resist the temptation to go online and procrastinate the rest of the day away. She felt a jab in her stomach, causing her to wince. Her stomach pains had only gotten worst in the past hour.

She got up from her desk and walked out to where Betsy and Shauna were sitting. It was a slow day for them too - Shauna had moved on from filing her nails and was now painting them, and Betsy was chatting with Morgan, who was regaling her with tales of his carjacking past.

"Hey guys, have Jeremy and Danny come back with lunch yet? I wanted their advice on this one case..." Technically, she wanted Jeremy's advice, as Danny would have rubbed it in if she had asked him for help with anything.

"Not yet." Betsy said.

Mindy nodded and turned to go back to her office when the most painful stomach jab hit her stomach. She clutched Betsy and Shauna's desk in order to keep herself steady, gritting her teeth against the pain. That was it, she was never having suspicious looking street food again. (She was fully aware she'd break that pact in about two days).

"Something wrong?" Morgan asked.

"Just stomach pain." Mindy said. "I only eat a weird hot dog with some skeevy looking onions for breakfast this morning."

"Maybe you should try to eat something else?" Morgan asked. "Maybe it'd help if you have something else in your stomach besides that hot dog. And you might just be hungry if you haven't had lunch yet."

"You might be right." Mindy nodded.

"Here." Betsy said. "You can take part of my lunch." She rooted under her desk only to emerge a few seconds later, holding out her fruit to Mindy.

Mindy smiled down at her, grateful. "Thanks Betsy." She gingerly took a bite of the food that Betsy offered her. At first she thought Morgan was right, but just a minute later her stomach pains started up again. Food hadn't helped. Damn -

Mindy suddenly felt the sharpest pain of all rip through her stomach. "Guys, I don't feel so -" It was all she had time to say before another horrible pain tore through her. She clutched Betsy's desk for support. Still clinging to the desk, she tried to make her way over to a chair, but before she could she blacked out.

* * *

Shauna looked up from her filing right when Mindy stopped talking. For a second, she thought that the fruit had worked, because Mindy was standing still, looking off as if into the distance. Then her eyes rolled up in the back of her head, showing only her whites. Shauna shot up from her chair in alarm, right as Mindy lost her grip on the desk and fell to the floor. For a second, there was silence as everybody just stared at her. Betsy finally broke the silence.

"I killed Dr. Lahiri!" She screamed. A second later she was sobbing hysterically.

Morgan, for once, actually seemed like a professional. He was by Mindy's side and taking her pulse in a second.

"She's just unconscious." He informed Shauna, who breathed out a sigh of relief. Betsy, however, didn't seem reassured.

"She eat my lunch! She was poisoned by my lunch!" Betsy screamed in panic.

"Betsy -" Shauna said, trying to get her attention.

Betsy plopped her head down on her desk, sobbing hysterically.

Shauna heavily debated smacking her to get her out of her distraught state. It worked in the movies, it should work in real life, right? But then Dr. Reed walked in, causing her to rethink it. She had already let one doctor get knocked out under her watch, slapping Betsy would mean she could kiss her job goodbye. Betsy seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"I'll be fired! And I love this job!" Betsy whimpered.

"What happened?" Dr. Reed asked, taking in the sobbing Betsy, the stunned Shauna, and Morgan kneeling on the floor with the unconscious Mindy, serious for the first time in his life.

"Mindy passed out on the floor." Morgan explained. "She was complaining of stomach pains just before she passed out."

"And she eat some of my lunch." Betsy sobbed.

"Your lunch did not do anything -" Shauna tried to say, but Betsy wasn't listening.

"Alright." For once, Dr. Reed looked serious, too. Shauna considered that a record. "Shauna, take Betsy into the back room and calm her down. Morgan, you stay here with Mindy. Has anyone called an ambulance yet?"

There was silence.

"That probably would have been a good idea." Shauna said quietly.

"I'll call an ambulance." Jeremy said. "And wait in the lobby to show them where to go. Dr. Castellano will be up in just a minute to help, he stopped on the way back from lunch to get a slice of pizza. He didn't seem that into salad, for some reason."

Shauna nodded, and grabbed Betsy, practically having to drag the poor girl into the back room.

Danny sighed, walking into the office, finishing off his pizza. Jeremy had sped past him on the way down the stairs, not even noticing that he was walking by. When Jeremy had sped past, Danny noticed that there'd been a wild look in his eyes - he'd probably forgotten a special comb or something at the restaurant.

"Dr. C!" Danny looked up to see Shauna rushing out of the back room, her eyes wild. "Dr. Reed said you were coming up soon, you have to help -"

"What?" Danny asked, only to see Betsy burst out of the back room in tears.

"It's all my fault." Betsy said. "I accept fully responsibility." The she started sobbing and Danny couldn't make out anything else.

Danny was so busy wondering what was wrong with Betsy that he didn't notice where Shauna was leading him.

"What the -" Danny started, gazing at the scene in front of him. His words stuck in his throat.

Shauna quickly explained the situation to him, trying to talk over the sound of Betsy crying in the background.

Mindy was lying on the floor, unconscious. Danny had never seen her so still before. Right next to her hand was the apple that Betsy had given her, with only one bite in it.


End file.
